Mea Culpa
by Daemon Feles
Summary: Kurt deals with his conflicting feelings for Ororo and his faith. It's rated R for a reason people, so Reader Discretion is advised.. Please R and R.
1. Prologue

"Ich bekenne dem allmaechtigen Gott..."

_I confess to God All Mighty.._   


Three fingered hands clutched worn rosary beads as Kurt lowered his head in reverence.

  


"Der gesegneten Jungfrau Maria, dem gesegneten Erzengel Michael, den heiligen Aposteln, allen Heiligen und dir, Vater .."

_To blessed Mary ever Virgin, to the blessed Archangel Michael, to the holy apostles, to all the saints, and to you, Father.._   


His tail twitched in agitation as unbidden thoughts entered his mind. His lipped curled up revealing sharp fangs, as he shoved the thoughts back down and continued his prayer.

  


"Dass ich gesuendigt habe, in Gedanken"

_That I have sinned in thought.._

"Wort und Tat.."

_In word and deed.._

  


Again the tempting images plagued him and he clutched the rosary tighter.

  


"Durch meine Schuld, durch meine Schuld. Durch meine schlimmste Schuld...

_Through my fault. Through my fault. Through my most grievous fault..._

  


A/N: Re uploading this chapter with the correct German transtation (Thank you so much to Satsuki, who sent me the corrected verse! I am a lowly Puerto Rican girl who knows no German.. Thankeee!!! =^_^= ) Another note, if you want to see a piccy I drew of Kurt, go back to my profile page and click on my homepage link and you will see what I drew =^_^= 


	2. Peccavi nimis

Kurt kneeled in a darkened corner of the garden; his eyes shut tight, his head bowed in reverence. His lips mouthed a silent prayer, over and over again, using it like a mantra to ward off his sinful thoughts. Rain began to fall like tears from heaven, but Kurt, still deep in prayer, didn't seem to notice. Finally as the rain soaked through his threadbare clothing, Kurt finished his self-imposed penance. 

He teleported to the covered porch of the mansion, and shook most of the rain off of himself. He was still soaked to the bone, and starting to get cold, but he didn't much care. He teleported again, this time to the room that had been set aside for his use. He still couldn't bring himself to think of it as his room. 

Kurt stripped off his dripping clothes and hung them over the back of a chair to dry, then flopped onto bed, without his usual grace. Even though his body was weary, his mind was still to troubled to sleep. His fingers traced along the raised skin on his chest. A mark for every sin. His hand moved to the engraved skin over his heart. Pride. His first sin, and his first mark. He closed his eyes as his fingers wandered over other sins. Greed, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy, and finally Wrath. When he was younger, his wrath and envy went hand in hand. His hatred of himself and his envy of 'normal' people. 

Of all the seven deadly sins, there was still one that was not marked upon his body. But now, he was in danger of losing himself to that one sin. A face invaded his ruminations, causing him to shudder involuntarily. Mocha colored skin and dark eyes tempted him. They invaded his every though, his every dream. What he wouldn't give for one of her smiles, to feel her hand caressing his cheek. Kurt let out a soft moan, as his fevered imagination laced his daydream with carnal intentions. His hand began to move of it's own accord, down his chest, across his belly… 

He suddenly froze. "Mein Gott.." he hissed to himself, as he bolted upright. He could not do that. He had to be strong. He could not give into that last sin. His eyes flew to the small balcony attached to his room. It was pouring outside. He stepped out, letting the cold rain fall upon him, in hopes that it would help wash away his guilt..

A/N: Yes it's short. But I wanted to get this bit done while it was fresh in my head. I want to thank Declared, Shian and Silma for reviewing =^_^= It really means a lot to me.. Remember, the more you press that little submit review button on the bottom, the quicker I upload chapters =^_^= Oh and again special thanks to Satsuki, who helped me with the German in the Prologue.


	3. Cogitatione

A/N: Woot! =^_^= Decided to put this bit in the front this time. Thanks to Reikon, Southernbend, Angelfish and Heavenmetal for commenting. I really, really, REALLY appreciate comments so please R and R. C'mon you know ya wanna press that little button on the bottom and do it! =^_^= Special Thanks to Kasdan for Beta reading, yer the best!! I'm doing this bit a little different that before. It's from Ororo's POV. Sorry again for the shortness, but I figure either do this in short bursts quickly or take forever doing one long bit :D

Ororo trudged her way to the kitchen, wrapping her terrycloth robe tightly around her body. Moments ago, she had bolted out of bed, a silent scream caught in her throat as images of Jean's death assailed her. Sleep was impossible after that. Running her fingers through her disarrayed hair, Ororo sighed and hoped that a cup of hot chocolate would sooth her jangled nerves.   
  
Soon she was basking in the sweet scent of cocoa as she held a large mug close to her face. She wandered through the silent mansion, slowly nursing the scalding sweet liquid. As she walked down empty hallways, her eye caught on a light coming from underneath the door that led to the gym. 'Who could be up at this hour?' she mused to herself as she quietly opened the door. At first glance the gym appeared to be empty. Then she looked up and almost dropped her cup. A lithe form flew through the air, performing acts of athletic prowess. Their new recruit, Kurt Wagner, seemed to be working off extra energy by using the mansion's extensive gymnastic equipment. Long limbs moved with fluid grace, swinging up from parallel bars to the rings that hung from the ceiling.  
  
Ororo watched in stunned silence at the elegant dance that was playing out above her. Obviously he didn't notice her presence, so she took the time to get a good look at this mysterious man. He wore a pair of oversized gray sweatpants and a khaki colored shirt, both of which looked to have seen better days. Lean muscles moved underneath his embossed blue skin as his body twisted and turned midair, to grasp the rings overhead with dexterous hands, feet and even his spade tipped tail. After a series of flips, jumps, and midair turns, he grabbed onto a ring with his prehensile toes and swung back and forth hanging on with just one foot. He hung there swaying back and forth, his free leg folded behind his knee, his hands held behind his back, and his eyes closed in concentration. Ororo couldn't help but thing he looked like hanged man from a tarot deck. 

Suddenly he let go of the ring and dropped like a stone. Before she could react, Kurt twisted in midair, like a cat, and gracefully landed in a crouch on his feet. He stretched out his long frame and walked to a nearby bench, grabbing a water bottle and taking a swig. She didn't realize how tall he was, seeing as most the time he walked bent over in a slouch. It was as if he was trying to make himself smaller and unnoticed. She must have unconsciously made a noise as she was puzzling over the enigma that was Kurt Wagner, because he suddenly turned to look in her direction.


	4. Verbo et opere

Ororo flushed in embarrassment as golden eyes peered at her curiously. She straightened her shoulders and stepped fully into the room, causing Kurt to unknowingly take a step backwards. He had instantly adopted his usually crouching stance as soon as he realized he was being watched.   
"Hi.." she smiled, clutching her now cold cup of cocoa to her chest, "I didn't mean to bother you.. I saw a light on and-"

"Nein.. Is okay," he interrupted as his eyes dropped to the floor and a shy smile pulled at his lips. "I am not being able to sleep well tonight..." He self-consciously wringed the water bottle he held in his hands. 

Ororo laughed softly, causing Kurt's golden eyes to glance up at her. "It seems that insomnia is catching," she smiled, prodding another shy grin from Kurt. She raised her cup towards him. "I was heading to the kitchen to warm this back up. Care to join me?"

Kurt's grin widened showing sharp, white teeth. "It would be my pleasure, Fraulein Storm."

"Please," she replied, her eyes twinkling with mischief, "Call me Ororo."

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

An hour later they were sitting at the kitchen table, their now empty mugs of hot chocolate forgotten. It had taken a bit to get Kurt out of his shell, but soon he was talking animatedly, perched on the edge of his seat, his whip-like tail flicking behind him. Ororo smiled as he told of his days as the 'Incredible Nightcrawler', pantomiming and over exaggerating in his storytelling. Ever the entertainer, he did his best to put on a good show as he fought invisible adversaries, relishing Ororo's dulcet laughter. As she leaned back in her chair, her eyes caught on the flashing kitchen clock.

"Oh dear," she moaned, "It's four o'clock in the morning. We really should be getting to bed."

"Ja. This was fun though. Maybe we could be doing this again sometime?" Kurt replied, running his fingers through his indigo locks. She paused and grinned.

"Yes, I would definitely look forward to that." Kurt cast his eyes down shyly. From affable showman back to the bashful new recruit. Ororo hope that with enough time, she could draw him out, show him that he had no need to be so withdrawn. She let out a silent sigh as Kurt teleported out of the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Their late night talks became a matter of routine. Ororo would wander to the gym and find Kurt doing his nightly workouts. He would finish and the both of them would sit around with a cup of hot chocolate or tea, discussing the day's events. The conversations seemed to help him slowly get over his shyness and interact with the others during the day. He spent most of his time with the children. They quickly saw past his demonic visage, to the amiable man underneath. The midnight talks were also a way for her to get things off of her chest. Kurt was a wonderful and sympathetic listener. 

These conversations really were a godsend to her. It gave her something to think about other that her nightmares of Jean. Plus, she was usually so tired when they finished, that as soon as her head hit her pillow she'd fall into a deep dreamless sleep. She wasn't getting a full night's rest, but it was enough to keep her from being a zombie. But of course, after about two months of this those missed hours of sleep were catching up with her. As she sat in her room, reading to kill time until midnight, her eyes began to droop shut. It wasn't long before her chin hit her chest and her book fell into her lap, as she slipped into unconsciousness. 

_She was floating above a large mass of water, searching in vain for something. She had to find Jean, she could still save her friend! Suddenly a waterspout rose in front of her. She moved back quickly to avoid the torrent of water. Then from within the water she saw a figure. She drew closer to the water until she could make out pale skin, the color of a dead fish's stomach, hair the color of blood tangles with seaweed. Ororo's eyes widened in horror as she recognized who it was. _

_"Jean..." she moaned as tears fell from her eyes. At the sound of her voice, the corpse's eyes snapped open and a cold hand reached up to grab Ororo's in an iron grip._

_"You didn't save me..." came the dead woman's hoarse voice. Ororo struggled in mounting panic_

_"We tried!" she cried as she fought in vain against being pulled down into the water._

_"Not hard enough," Jean hissed as she pulled Ororo into the cold sea below._

A/N: Wootness! This is the beta'd version of this chapter Meep!.  =^_^=  Thanks to: An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin, Mrs. Emery Waterman, DBZd00dette (I got plot now! Woot!), Shian (I'll let you decide that for yourself.. =^_^=), Your Worshipfulness (next chapter will be chocked full of emotional carnage), iAmDuckie131, Declared, Vicky Vic, Reikon (yup I said Woot. =^_^= I say that a lot.. Woot, woot, wootness, wootie, woot! =^_^=) and brainfear. Again, special thanks to my beta reader, Kasdan who is the bestest person ever. =^_^= Now, please press that little blue submit button on the bottom. It would make me verra, verra happy and it will also make me write more quicker :D


	5. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa

A/N: Wootness! New Chapter time!!  =^_^=  Thanks to: Z-Chick, Vulcaine7, Cousin Mary, LotR-FaNAtiC, Your Worshipfulness, LeDiz, Declared, Vampire-Jesse, BrokenPromises, oxygen21 and An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin.. Wow… 32 reviews *cries* I am so happy! Please remember, that it makes me really happy if ya press that little button on the bottom and review my story. And once again thanks to my super duper beta reader Kasdan. 

WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! =^_^= This part is urm.. kinda *blushes* … Aw heck, I won't beat around the bush, it's smut. Soo… If you find sex and such offensive, I suggest you skip this chapter..  If you like that kinda stuff, read on… Okay.. Now, onto the story. 

Kurt tentatively made his way up the mansion steps towards Ororo's room. The spade tip of his tail twitched in nervous agitation. Ororo had yet to show up for their nightly chat. His first thought had been that she had finally had her fill of his company, but he quickly banished that idea out of his head. He had come to know her personality during the past two months and Ororo was the type of person who was up front about things. She would have told him if she wasn't going to show up. Plus, it seemed that she enjoyed their chats almost as much as he did.  
  
His tri-fingered hands clenched at the frayed edges of his t-shirt in nervous frustration. Kurt was enjoying the time he spent with her a bit too much. He was well aware that being with Ororo was like playing with fire. Being so close to her every night was both bliss and torture. Her enticing scent: a mixture of jasmine and sandalwood; the feel of her hand on his arm on those occasions that she touched him… those were pure temptation.  
  
Kurt took a shaking breath, and shook his head to clear his troubled thoughts. Blinking a few times, he realized that he was now standing in front of Ororo's door. He debated whether he should knock or run back to his room with his tail (literally) between his legs, when he heard a piercing scream come from inside the room.   
  
Pure instinct took over as he teleported inside, appearing mere inches away from her bed. Had he not been so concerned over Ororo's welfare, he would have cursed himself for being stupid enough to blindly teleport into a room he had never seen. But currently none of that entered his mind as he saw Ororo. She thrashed on her bed, caught in the tight grip of a nightmare, trying to escape the bed sheets that had tangled around her lithe frame. Her hands crawled at some unseen enemy, and frightened whimpers escaped her lips.  
  
"Ororo?" he whispered softly. She flinched away from his voice and tried to curl into herself. Kurt stoked her arm lightly and kept his voice at a soothing tone.   
  
"Liebchen, please wake up." He cooed softly, drawing her trembling form into his arms "You are having a nightmare."  
  
She stiffened slightly, her eyes opening wide and unfocused. She clung onto his as if he was a lifeline, her breath coming is short gasps. Finally her dark eyes met his golden ones.  
  
"Kurt?" came her quavering voice as she clutched tightly onto him. He stroked her silken hair in an attempt to calm her.  
  
"It's alright, Liebchen," he whispered, "It was just a dream.."  
  
"Oh Kurt…" she cried, pressing her face against his chest and wrapping her arms around his neck. He just held her tightly and slowly rocked her back and fourth, murmuring soft words of comfort. Finally her sobs tapered off into soft whimpers, then finally to silence.  
  
"Thank you…" she whispered into his slightly damp chest. Kurt chuckled softly.  
  
"Is nothing," he smiled, holding her close. Suddenly he realized that his tail had, at some point, snaked around her waist and was lazily drawing circles on her back. Kurt flushed and unwound the offending appendage from around her waist. "Er… Sorry," he mumbled, thoroughly embarrassed. "It has a mind of it's own."  
  
Ororo chuckled softly. "It's okay... I don't mind..."  
  
"Maybe I should go now," he stammered, but she tightened her arms around him.  
  
"Stay..." she whispered and Kurt could hear the note of fear that entered her voice, as she snuggled into his chest. "Please?"   
  
Kurt fought a mental battle with himself. He was afraid that if he stayed he might not be able to fight off his impulses. On the other hand, Ororo was deeply distressed, and it would be wrong of him to refuse her plea for comfort.  
  
"I will stay," he replied, despite his better judgment. She let out a sigh of relief and she rested her head against his shoulder. Kurt laid her down on the bed and crawled in next to her. After a moment, the two of them settled comfortably, with Kurt's arms around Ororo's waist, as she curled up against his chest, her head snuggled underneath his chin.   
  
_I'll only stay until she falls asleep_, he told himself as he idly stoked her hair and fought back a yawn. _Then I'll go back to my own bed..._  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
The first thing that Ororo was aware of, was that she wasn't in her bed alone. She opened her eyes to see the peacefully sleeping face of Kurt right in front of her. Her arms were loosely draped around his shoulders, while his were wrapped around her waist. His tail was coiled around her thigh, the tip twitching ever so slightly.  
  
She was glad that he had decided to stay, it was hard to remember the last time she felt so safe. Her fingers softly traced the scars along his cheeks, enticing a small moan from his lips. His eyes twitched underneath their lids and he pulled her closer to him and nuzzled his face against the crook of her neck. Ororo smiled and stroked the back of his head, playing with the ends of his indigo locks. He moaned again against her neck and suddenly she could feel his tail stir. It slowly unwound itself from her leg and began to lightly stroke the sensitive skin along her inner thigh. She gasped as his dexterous tail inched upwards, lightly stoking her skin along the way, until it reached the barrier of her panties.   
  
_He's asleep, _she thought to herself trying to ignore the sensation of his spade-tipped tail rubbing itself across the white triangle of fabric that blocked it from it's goal. _I should stop this now before-_ She had reached her hand downwards to pull his tail away, but the length of it coiled around her wrist and pulled her towards him. Her fingers brushed against his thigh, and she felt his body jerk slightly. His tail released her and went back to its previous mission of seeking out her heat. Ororo cautiously brought her hand up and her fingers accidentally brushed against the throbbing flesh that strained against his pants. Another moan escaped from Kurt, and his tail became more determined. She didn't know what possessed her to do so, but she parted her legs, ever so slightly, giving the tail an opening. Her own hands seemed to act of their own accord as well, as she ran her fingers over the proof of his arousal. Kurt gasped and his hips began to thrust against her. She let out a gasp of her own as his clever tail made it's way past her panties and began caressing and stroking.   
  
Ororo plunged her hands down the front of his pants, drawing forth his pulsing member. She wrapped her hands around the length, stroking it hard, matching his tail's efforts beat for beat. His gasps of pleasures turned into ragged pants as his hips thrust faster against her hands, ramming into her stomach. Soon he was whispering, against her neck, in German. Although she couldn't understand the words themselves, she understood their tone. His tail increased the tempo and soon she was teetering near the edge. Finally with one last flick, he sent her toppling over as wave after wave of pleasure wracked her body. Her climax caused her to tighten her grip on his member, and she was dimly aware of him stiffening against her. He called her name as his body twitched, his seed spilling over her hands and across her belly.  
His head suddenly jerked up, his eyes opened in sleepy bewilderment.   
  
_Oh Goddesss,_ she thought to herself in dawning horror, _he was still asleep!_  
  
Kurt blinked owlishly at her then looked down between their bodies. He saw the evidence of his transgression still on her hands and splattered over her stomach, and she could see the horror and shame on his face when he realized where his tail was…

"Meine Schuld," he whispered, "Ich bin, Ororo traurig.  Verzeihen Sie mir bitte.…" Then he teleported away before she could utter a word.


	6. Gere curam mei finis

A/N: Another new Chapter.. Sorry for the wait guys :P Real life got in the way, and it's been rather messy, plus I actually finished this story 3 days ago but the site's been on the blink :P Any who.. 50 reviews.. WOOT! I feel so loved =^_^= 

Thanks to:  Shian (I am on the Faith and Anger list already, I just don't post much to the list cuz school and real life, which sucks a lot right now :/ , gets in the way. All I have to say is the list is directly responsible for the tail scene. Anyways I'm planning on posting this to the list when I have it all done and finished :D ), Reikon, Kasdan, angelfish, Your Worshipfulness (yup, it is :D That's why it's subcategory is angst :D I like to make my characters suffer a bit, it's the sadist in me :D ), LotR-FaNAtiC, The Creegganator (is that a good M or a bad M?), Mrs. Emery Waterman, BrokenPromises, Sprinkles, Spak-chan, iAmDuckie131, Kethlyn, little L aka : Little Logan, J.A.K (Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D I am making a conscious effort to write longer chapters from now on, it's just that the story comes to me in bursts and my Muse is insane, sadistic and slightly schizophrenic :D ) and roth1900. Thanks, yet again, to Kasdan my beta reader, who succeeds where my computer's spell and grammar check fails.

Okay, much angst in this chapter, plus there's an excerpt from a German drinking song near the end, and I'm not entirely sure what it translate into exactly, and both Google and Alta Vista butchered it beyond all comprehension. So if you can give me a correct translation please e-mail it to me.  =^_^=  Now.. On with the angsting- er story :) 

_What have I done, what have I done, mein Gott im Himmel, what have I done...  
_  
Tears of shame streamed down Kurt's face as he teleported into his room. How could he have done that to her? He had befouled her purity by his actions. He should have stayed at the church, he should have never left.  
  
Kurt stood, trembling in panic for a moment, unsure of himself. He had to get out, had to leave this place. His eyes fell on a small, worn box that sat on his nightstand, and suddenly it all became clear. He knew what he had to do.  
  
  


* * * * * * * * * * *  
  


  
Ororo changed her clothes as quickly as she could and rushed over to Kurt's room. She knew he was upset, and she mentally cursed herself for taking advantage of him. Even though his body seemed ready and willing for what had just happened, he clearly wasn't mentally prepared for the act.   
  
She reached his door, gathered her courage and knocked. There was no answer. She knocked again, but still no answer. She reached for the doorknob, but paused. Maybe she should leave him be, give him time to calm down. She leaned against the door, and let out a tired sigh.   
"I'm so sorry, Kurt," she whispered softly, before heading back to her room.

  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
  


It was around four o'clock in the morning when Logan quietly entered the mansion. He had spent the better part of the night dealing with his own personal demons, and preferred to do it in private. He stalked towards his room, his boots not making a sound as he padded down the dark hallways of the large house. He stopped suddenly as he entered his room, nostrils flaring as a familiar scent made itself known.  Logan stood puzzled. Why was this scent in his room? Using his heightened senses, He followed the scent and found that it led to his bed. His lip curled up in an angry snarl and his eyes narrowed.  
  
No one could possibly be stupid enough to- Logan cut off the thought and dropped down on all fours to look under his bed. The scent got stronger. Logan took inventory and was relieved to find that his precious case of beer was still present and accounted for. He pushed the case aside and, to his outraged indignation, found that four bottles of Jack Daniels were noticeably missing. Logan stood, his face a mixture of anger and something else not easily identifiable.  
  
"That blue bastard broke into my stash!"  
  
  
  


* * * * * * * * * * *

  
  
It had been three days since Kurt had made his hasty departure from Ororo's room, and she was still kicking herself for not immediately checking on him. Maybe if she had talked to him, she could of convinced him it wasn't his fault, that he didn't have to run away. She had pleaded with Charles to contact him, make him come back, but the Professor just shook his head.  
  
"Ororo, he's confused and scared right now. I don't want to force him into anything that he's not ready for." Charles sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.  
  
"Can you tell me where he is?" she asked. "I just want to talk with him. Please."  
  
"I think you already know where he is, Ororo." he replied softly.  
  
Realization hit her like a brick wall. Of course she knew where he was! He would be in the same place he hid right after the assassination attempt on the president. He would be at the church...  
  
So now Ororo found herself in a van driving towards the old church that Kurt used as his sanctuary. She had decided against using the Blackbird, mainly because she didn't want to send him running off again to Goddess knows where.  
  
It was sometime after midnight when she finally pulled up in front of the church. It was raining hard, and Ororo couldn't help but think that the weather matched her turbulent thoughts at the moment. She lightly flexed her powers, making sure that none of the rain fell upon her as she made her way towards the church.  
  
As she stepped into the chapel, a feeling of dread welled in the pit of her stomach. She looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of gold in the shadows, but there was nothing. She made her way to the altar, which was lit up with guttering candles. On the floor was a small, worn, wooden box; a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some wadded up pieces of gauze, stained with some unknown reddish brown fluid.   
  
_Stop deluding yourself_, she thought angrily, _that's blood._ She reached down and tentatively opened the box. Inside was a set of scalpels that would make a surgeon drool. Each one had an intricately carved ivory handle, the blades sparkled in the candlelight and the tips were razor sharp.  
  
"Goddess, Kurt..." she whispered into the empty church. "What have you done?" She closed the box with trembling hands and suddenly something reached her ears. Soft strains of... singing? Ororo stood up, and followed the sound, making her way up the rickety steps that led to the bell tower. The singing got louder, but she couldn't understand the words. They sounded a bit slurred, and were definitely not in English. She recognized the voice as belonging to Kurt…  
  
_"Mich plagt ein Dämon, Durst genannt; doch um ihn zu verscheuchen…"_  
  
She reached the top of the tower and found an open door that lead out to the roof. The rain had died down a bit, but it was still pouring. The singing was definitely coming from outside.  
  
_"Nehm' ich mein Deckelglas zur Hand und laß mir Rheinwein reichen…"  
_  
She stepped out onto the roof, her eyes squinting in the dark. Her foot hit something hard, and her quick reflexes kept her from tripping. She looked down to see what she had nearly fallen over. It was an empty bottle of Jack Daniels.   
  
_"Die ganze Welt erscheint mir nun in rosenroter Schminke, ich könnte niemand Leides tun, ich trinke, trinke, trinke!"_  
  
Ororo nearly jumped out of her skin as she swung around. In the shadows he was virtually invisible. If it hadn't been for the empty bottles strewn about him and the faint glow of his golden eyes, she would have never found him.  
  
He was sitting with his back resting against one of the many stone gargoyles that lined the rooftop. He was soaked to the bone, but didn't seem to notice the rain at all. A half empty bottle of Jack Daniels hung loosely from his fingers. He blinked at her, and shook his head, as if to convince himself he wasn't seeing an apparition, or hallucination. Ororo knelt down, but was hesitant to touch him. She didn't want to startle him. Kurt tilted his head and regarded her with wide eyes.  
  
"Are you real?" he asked softly. His hand reached out to her face, but suddenly drew back, as if he was afraid to touch her.   
  
"Yes, Kurt, I'm real..." she said softy, reaching out to touch him, but he flinched away. She sighed. _Take it slow, girl_, she thought to herself, _Mustn't scare him off._ "Kurt," she began, "I want to apologize-"  
"_Nien_! Iz not your fault. I vaz veak," Kurt interrupted angrily, his inebriation causing his accent to grow thicker and his words to slur slightly. "I shouldn't of... Shouldn't..." He trailed off, his eyes glazing over slightly.  
  
Ororo's eyes widened in alarm. "Kurt, are you okay?"   
  
Suddenly his tail shot out, wrapping around her arm, pulling her close to him. His hand grabbed a fistful of her white hair, as he pressed his cheek against hers.   
"_Sie sind reine Versuchung._.." he whispered huskily into her ear. "_Ich möchte Sie berühren, schmecke Sie_." Ororo froze against him, his words burning into her brain. Despite the cold rain that fell on them, his skin was blazing hot. Kurt took in several ragged breaths and wrenched himself away from her. "_Nein, nein_... I cannot..." he moaned softly.   
  
She brushed her fingers against his forehead, and this time he only winced, but didn't move away.   
"Kurt, you're sick," she said in soft soothing tones, "Lets get you out of the rain and back to the Institute-"  
  
"No!" he hissed pulling away from her, but Ororo held his arms firmly. In his weakened state he didn't put up much of a fight. Kurt finally stopped struggling and sagged his shoulders. "I don't want to go back," he whispered softly. "Not yet." Then he looked up at her, tilting his head slightly and gave her a lopsided smile. "Anywayz, Herr Logan vill kill me if I go back now."  
  
  
  


Translations (That Alta Vista and Google have most likely mangled beyond recognition):

_Mein Gott im Himmel=_ My god in heaven.

_Nien _= No__

_Sie sind reine Versuchung_ = You are pure Temptation

_Ich möchte Sie berühren, schmecke Sie_. = I want to touch you, taste you.

_Herr_= Mr. 


	7. Angele Dei

A/N: Sorry about not updating in like forever, but real life got in the way again. :P Anywhoo, I wanna thank all of you who have reviewed. I appreciate it a lot. I know this chapter is kinda short and abrupt, but I promise I'll make it up to you! I plan on doing a lemon for the next chapter.. Oh those of you on ff.net won't get that.. I'll have to do a non-lemon chapter, but if you reaaaaly want to read the lemon, just go to my main page and click on my adultfanfic.net link and you can read it. 

Ororo watched the silent rise and fall of Kurt's chest as he slept curled up in a cocoon of blankets. She had been keeping a silent vigil over him for about three days now, and his fever only now showed signs of finally coming down. She had wanted to get him back to the institute for medical attention, but he had been most vehement about not going back, so she had to compromise by finding a motel room out in the middle of nowhere. She had a tense moment when she had to nearly drag him out of the van. His tail slipped out of the blankets he was wrapped in, into plain view several times. Luckily no one was around to see, as she pulled him into the room. 

The room was a pretty simple set up, with a small living room area with a fold out sofa bed and an attached kitchenette. There was one bedroom, with a queen-sized bed, next to a small bathroom, with a single cramped shower stall, a sink and toilet. Kurt looked at the bed longingly, and she knew that he was using all his will just to stay awake. She pulled out a set of dry clothes that she had packed up, back at the church.

"Kurt, you need to get out of your wet clothes. You're sick enough as it is." She paused for a moment, as she placed his clothing on the bed. "I'll be in the living room, just let me know when you're done." He nodded softly and dropped the blankets that were wrapped around his body. Ororo exited the room, closing the door softly behind her. She wrapped her arms around herself, and waited with nervous impatience. After a few minutes she head a thud come from the room, then silence.

"Kurt?"

No answer came from the door. She turned the knob and peeked her head through the door. "Kurt, are you okay?"

He had managed to get his damp shirt off, and got his pants partially down to his knees, before finally giving up and curling up on the bed in an untidy heap. He snored softly, as his long legs and tail were tangled in his wet pants and blankets. Ororo was amazed that he could possibly be comfortable in the position he was in, and let out a tired chuckle, before untangling him. She winced when she saw the new tattoo that he had made along his thigh. It wasn't bleeding, but the edge of each scar was crusted over and swollen with infection. Ororo managed to wrestle his dead weight into a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, before wrapping him back up into his nest of blankets. 

After a mental debate with herself, Ororo finally decided that Kurt would be fine by himself for a while, long enough for her to run out to one of those 24-hour drugstores. She recalled seeing one on the way to the hotel. Ten minutes later she found herself pushing a cart down isles lit by blinking florescent lights. She ignored the clerk's odd looks when she dumped half the cold medication shelf into her cart, along with assorted first aid supplies such as gauze, bandages, hydrogen peroxide and antibacterial ointment. 

When she finally returned back at the motel room, she let out a sigh of relief that everything was as she left it. When she went to check on Kurt, she was alarmed to find that he had kicked off his blankets and was covered in sweat. His breath rattled ominously in his chest and he seemed to be lost in fevered dreams. She felt his forehead and found he was burning up, worse than before. 

"Dammit," she muttered under her breath as she first cleansed and bandaged his infected thigh. She gave silent thanks that he was to out of it to feel any pain when she poured hydrogen peroxide over the scars. They bubbled up horribly, a sure sign of a bad infection. It took several applications before the wound stopped fizzing up and she wrapped his thigh in gauze and bandages. She then managed to get Kurt to swallow some pills to help lower his temperature.

He spent the next three days fading in and out of consciousness, becoming lucid enough only to take care of his basic needs. Ororo spent most of her time next to his bed, perched on a chair she had drug in from the living room, wiping the sweat from his brow with a cool, wet cloth.  Sometimes he would cry out and thrash about, in the grip of some fever induced nightmare. She would use her soft words and her cool hands on his brow to bring him comfort, and soon he would settle down into black oblivion.

Now finally his fever was breaking, his breathing no longer troubled, as he finally settled into a deep untroubled sleep. Ororo stood up, the muscles in her back screaming in protest from spending the night sleeping in a chair. She brushed his indigo locks away from his forehead, and brushed a light kiss across it. He smiled softly, but continued sleeping.


	8. Omnen crede diem tibi diluxisse supremem

Kurt was still dead to the world when Ororo emerged from the shower dressed in an oversized T-shirt and sweat pants. She checked his wound, and found that though it was still a bit red, the infection had noticeably gone down. After tucking the blankets back around his still form, she curled up into the chair that had been her post for the past several nights. Feeling a bit drowsy, she opened up a novel she had found stashed away in one of the dresser drawers in an attempt to stay awake. Sleep was something she had avoided as of late, opting to stay by Kurt's side; in fear he might have another relapse. 

Soon the words on the page of the book (which turned out to be one of those trashy romance novels) were blurred gibberish, as her eyelids drooped and her body tried to impose slumber upon her. She let out a sigh and let the book drop to her lap. __

_Maybe a small nap won't hurt.._ she thought to herself, as she closed her eyes and willingly surrendered to sweet blissful oblivion.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

"Ororo.."

Someone gently nudged her in the shoulder. She batted the hand away and let out a disgruntled noise. "Go 'way. Sleepin…"

"Ororo, open your eyes.."

"Huh, whazat?" she mumbled, in a muzzy state of semi-consciousness. She forced one eye open, to see golden orbs peering at her with concern. Kurt perched on the edge of the bed, looking bright and alert.

"You should sleep in the bed. You can not possibly be comfortable like that."

"Bed?" she asked, blinking at him looking confused. Kurt let out a soft sigh and gathered her into his arms and placed her on the bed. Ororo was dimly aware that sheets smelled clean and fresh. He must have changed them while she was asleep.. She snuggled into the bedding as Kurt pulled a blanket over her.

"I'm going to take a shower, then watch TV for a while," he said softly, making sure she was tucked in and comfortable. "Call me if you need me."

"M'kay.." she mumbled into the pillow, not really aware of anything other than sleep in the comfort of a real bed for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

When Ororo woke again, she stiffened slightly as she slowly became aware of a warm form spooned against her back, and fingers tracing lazy circles across her stomach. At some point during her slumber, her shirt had ridden up, leaving her midriff bare. She also noticed a spade tipped length wrapped tightly around her waist.

"Kurt.." she whispered, as the hand made it's made slowly up her stomach, towards her chest. It seemed that this was going to be a repeat of the night he had left.. She firmly grasped his hand and pulled it away before it reached her breast.

"Kurt, please wake up. You're aslee-" She began, but he quickly pulled his arm away from her hold and pulled her tighter against his body. She felt his lips brush lightly  across her ear.

"Who said I was asleep?" he said in a low tone, as he pressed light kisses against the side of her neck. Ororo let out a small gasp as she felt his erection press against the small of her back, and his hand slide back under her shirt. She was half tempted to let him continue, but she knew that they had to talk about what happened that night he left, and what he had done to himself. 

"Are you sure?" she asked softly. "I don't want you running off like last time."

It was a low blow, but it had to be done. He pulled away from her, and Ororo momentarily mourned the loss of his touch. She turned to face him, and saw that he was sitting up, with his knees drawn up to his chest and his chin propped up on his crossed arms. His tail twitched with agitation as he looked at her thoughtfully.

"I… I'm sorry about that," he said softly. "I didn't know what to do.."

"You could of stayed. We could have talked it out."

"I was angry at myself," he stated, unable to meet her eyes. "At what I did to you."

"Kurt," she sat up, then reached out and brought his chin up so that his golden eyes met hers. "What happened… It was a mutual thing. You didn't do anything to me that I didn't want."

He pulled her hand away from his chin and placed it, palm up, in his own. For a moment it seemed as if he was studying it, making note of the differences between her hand and his. The silence grew as he lightly traced his finger along the lines of her palm, then finally he spoke.

"I had good intentions when I put you to bed earlier, really I did... I was planning on  watching television in the other room and sleeping on the sofa bed. But.." he paused, casting his eyes downwards once more. Ororo pressed her free hand against his cheek and he leaned into it with a soft sigh. She waited for him to gather his thoughts and continue. "I think.. I think I'm addicted to you. Every time I'm near you, all I want to do is hold you, touch you.." his voice dropped into a husky whisper. "I was just going to lay next to you for a while, but I couldn't help myself."

"If I had let you keep going, would you have run off and hurt yourself?" Ororo traced the ridge of tattoos along his cheek, then dropped her hand to his bandaged thigh. "What would stop you from doing this again? I was so afraid…"

"Liebchen…" he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers, "I did not mean to frighten you.. I've had time to think about things… One might say I've had an epiphany... "

Ororo pulled back and graced him with an elegantly raised eyebrow. "An epiphany?"

Kurt gave her a small smile, "From public access TV no less.." She just blinked at him, and he let out a soft chuckle. "Seriously.. There was this man.. He was reading from several old books.. One specifically caught my attention… Horace's Epistles.. Inter spem curamque, timores inter et iras omnen crede diem tibi diluxisse supremem: grata superveniet quae non sperabitur hora."

"Um.. I'm a bit rusty on my Latin. Care to translate?"

"Amid the hope and worry, fear and anger, believe that each day which breaks is your last: the unhoped for hour will be a welcome surprise." He leaned back against the headboard. "It made me think about the life I'm living right now and about what happened with Striker.." An involuntary shudder ran through his lean frame, and Ororo recalled how Kurt had whimpered that man's name during his fever-induced nightmares. She wondered what exactly Striker had done to him before sending Kurt off to assassinate the President, and was immensely glad that Logan had left that monster to die at Alkali Lake. "Anyways," Kurt continued, "I realized that I care for you very much.. and I shouldn't let my fears or doubts stop me from showing you…"

Ororo cupped his cheek in her hand. "Kurt.. I-"

He interrupted her, by grabbing her other hand and pressing a kiss against the palm. "Will you let me show you?" he asked in a low tone, his golden eyes intensely peering at her. She leaned closer to him and kissed him softly.

"Show me, Kurt…" she whispered against his lips.

**AN:** Here's the next chapter, sorry it took so damn long :P Life has continued to get in the way of my writing (school is killin my brain!!!!) BTW, this is not the end of the story.. I think I got one chapter left for this.. I mean what about Logan and his missing bottles of Jack Daniels? =^_^=  Anywhoo. If you're looking for the lemon, go to my adultfanfic.net site. I am not risking loosing all my wonderful reviews by having someone get offended and getting ff,net to erase this story. Again, thank you for still sticking with me. Please R and R. It makes me verra happy!


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